The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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