U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
