He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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