the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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