So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
