I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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