i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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