is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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