There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He passed out mid-signature
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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