chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
