He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
