wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
try to milk me bitch
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