I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
