let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
