I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
