I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
