She is in my trunk
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
