exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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