i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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