U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
