i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
