I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
