Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Bring me that man meat
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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