whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
