i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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