He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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