i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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