I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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