My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Found the puke drawer
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
