Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
