I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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