i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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