I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
