so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
