I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize