You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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