just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
