OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
