Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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