I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's official drugs can't kill me
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
