So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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