is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
