She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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