Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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