it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Sober January is a disaster.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
