So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it hurts more in the daytime
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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