I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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