I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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