): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
