I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
