I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
