We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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