Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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