no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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