take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
