I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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