It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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