Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize