My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
