She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
