I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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